Gender, or EMI, is Everywhere

EMI stands for ElectroMagnetic Interaction, and is a entirely new way of looking at gender,’sexuality, behaviour, communication, and relationships.

EMI brings new insight and understanding to leadership, teamwork and parenting as much as it does intimate relationships and self-understanding.

It is based on 25 years of work with the toltec gender tradition.   It has a few core principles.  We start with the understanding that the same forces that govern the relations of stars and planets govern that of human relations.  

The force that governs the closeness and distance of planets, and the explosions of energy that happen during certain alignment events is the same as the force that governs the closeness and distance, and explosiveness, of relationships and sex that make them work well.

It is the natural structure of human relations, and the mechanism for effective communication and conception: it is a living dance you are already engaged in every single day, in every interaction you have, for it is the energy of transmission (electrical) and reception (magnetic): masculine and feminine: the electro-magnetic forces.

And it is not that ‘women have one and men have the other.’ We all have both, males and females.

What is remarkable about this approach is that our language already matches it perfectly!   

We already speak in electromagnetic terms when speaking of our relationships!  We already speak of attraction, finding someone repulsive, The Spark in a relationship, the language of Charge and Discharge and of a persons capacity, or encoutering resistance.  Even referring to being positive or negative.

The significance of this cannot be understated – there are no new words to learn.  And because each one relates to feelings (not emotion) you have likely already felt each of them in your life.  This means all we are doing with EMI is bringing together the pieces of a puzzle we already have and know well, and making a different pattern.

This Electromagnetic Interaction energy is as ubiquitous as gravity and doesn’t require your belief for it to ‘be working’ any less than the sun not requiring your belief to rise.

While on the surface many people may look dignified and confident, many are spasming unskillfuly in their gender ‘energy,’ aka EMI energy.

The beautiful thing about the EMI is that there are really no new words to learn!  Everyone is already using near-perfect EMI language that will clear up so much gender confusion and unskilfulness – it’s just the map hasn’t been put together before now.

The EMI approach to the entire subject has a very simple foundation.  It is the same foundation as relations between planetary bodies and stars.   The hint is in the term : Electromagnetic Interaction.

The foundation of EMI is that the true mystery of effective human relations stems from a particular kind of biological electromagnetism that we can all feel. 

Our language already perfectly reflects this. 

We use terms such as ‘attraction’, repulsive, women enjoying a man who can ‘take charge’; we speak of ‘the spark’ and it’s loss in a relationship.  And no one likes it when he ‘discharges’ at the wrong time.

Women like a man with Capacity.  Men like a woman who doesn’t have too much Resistance.

Let’s not even get started yet on what it really means to be Positive

These are all electromagnetic terms.  And we all use them without really thinking of it in this way, nor of what it could all mean.   Yet they paint a wonderfully rich landscape from which to approach what is a very sensitive, very charged, part of our shared humanity – sensuality, sexuality, relationships and all other areas where we are using these language patterns in relation to a given relationship eg when we are dealing with someone ‘In Charge,’ we are dealing with an aspect of EMI, we are dealing with gender.

These are just the doorway in to a universal way of understanding that which we call ‘masculine’ and that which we call ‘feminine’ in quality and expression, as it appears in both males and females (giving rise to a generation of gender confusion and extremism of experimentation.)

We can summarise it for now, though it will be explained in detail later, as that which stems from the electrical – ‘charge’ and ‘discharge’ is masculine, no matter where it turns up in linguistic use (even the money system is gendered in this way – as we are all ‘charged’ in our accounts, which are current accounts.  These are all electrical terms.)  All magnetic terms are feminine, such as attraction and repulsion.

Men primarly have to deal with their Charge and the desire to Discharge in different ways, and how that feels.   Women primarily have to deal with issues of attraction and repulsion and how that makes them feel.   As you can likely already see,  males and females clearly have to deal with both. 

Due to the impact of biology there are key all important differences that mean EMI presents different challenges to those in male bodies than those in female bodies.

Capacity and Conduct are also electromagnetic terms which are vital to skillful relations and powerful being.  Without understanding how to Take Charge (of ones own charge), nor how to manage our attractive powers, we can have a less pleasant and effective life, with less fulfilling, intimate relations.

Understanding how we oscillate from our own masculine to feminine, our own hardness and our softness, our reception, to our transmission, can help us understanding everything from our communication, to all our relationships – with friends, strangers, colleagues, employees, partners and children for our oscillation between the two takes place in each in a different way.

Why is EMI/gender relevant to so many categories?  Because in all of these we have to transmit what we think and feel, and receive the transmissions of others.  We are also following the thread of EMI language, and parents are ‘In Charge’ of the kids, similarly, a boss is ‘in charge’. 

The case for becoming skillful with our Gnder is as meaningful and vital as the case for becoming skilful with emotion, thought or body.  If your EMI resources are flapping around unskillfuly, and you are not very good at ‘taking charge’ of your feelings, it doesn’t matter how good your capacity with body or thought is, you won’t have truly effective or truly satisfying interactions with others.

Without developing a basic level of self awareness and skill, we can harm ourselves and others, unintentionally.  This is true for emotions, thoughts, body and the EMI of Gender which is in us all.   Just as emotion, thought and body are present in every interaction we have, so is Gnder.

{put in pull-out box} If you have legs but don’t use them consciously, and don’t have awareness of their natural movements, you would be as an infant on a mat with periodically spasms legs – it doesn’t mean you don’t have legs though.  They’re still there: like or not, do something about it or not.  They’re not going anywhere.  And they’re likely to kick objects and people, hurting you and others, until you take responsibility for those flapping legs and bring them under a modicum of control.

Electromagnetic Interaction is like that.  It’s there. Like it or not.  Do something about it or not.  It’s not going anywhere.  It’s like a set of limbs no one showed you how to use well, so we just experience, and learn from, people who are ‘flapping around’ in the masculine and feminine qualities that are moving in every interaction we have… and then we copy them.

The madness of today is people claiming that jobs and clothing and facepaint are NOT markers of gender, yet those same very people go about adopting stereotypes and tropes of jobs, clothing, behaviour of the complimentary sex.  Despite the claim that these things are not gendered.  Which they are not:

Make up does not ‘belong to women’ and never has.  Men have worn face paint and tattoos since time immemorial.  From the blues of the celts to the highly detailed decorative face and body designs in africa.

Wearing trousers or a skirt are not gendered.  Men have worn dresses and skirts in the forms of robes and kilts and jalabas, again, since time immemorial.  In fact, it makes more sense for a woman to wear trousers than a man, and men to be in kilt type garments just based on pure anatomy!

Jobs are more complex, they are simple preferences.  Examples in Scandinavia have proven that you can present equal opportunity to the sexes as much as you want, you will still end up with imbalances in caring professions and hard labour/hard conditions professions. 

The point of this is to show the confusion at play.  Claiming an old model doesn’t serve…. Then just replicating it?

EMI explains everything from homosexuality to transgenderism as well as the cause for relationship failure in the modern day – and understanding it, working with it, can pave the way to a more compassionate and more love-filled world for all, with longer lasting relationships of deepening intimacy, and wonder at the mysteries that lay in human connection – which has no substitute.

In truth,  we all yearn for meaningful connection: to love, and to be loved – safely.  But so many have hardened themselves, hardened their expectations, out of a fear of our own softness and pain due to the countless past experiences of a lack of skill and care and awareness in those we come into relation with with these particular aspects of self.

It seems easier to just stay hard.  But most are simply not aware of the cost of that.

The cost is life with a hole in the middle, with only objects and status in the material world to try to fill it.  The cost is not knowing the depth of sensual intimacy possible between humans, as mammals, without it needing to end up in sex.

In a way.  That is the true patriarchy in our society  – in men and women.  A hardness towards each other, a resistance to true softening and opening to each other (because it seems to ‘hurt’), a lack of compassion for unpractised, unskilful unguided people who have strong feelings and few role models as to how to use those feelings with skill and power. 

Instead we have a hard love.  A hard, charged, expectation and demand to ‘toe the line of near-perfect performance…or else risk total cut-off’  This is applied to men and women in different aspects of their masculinity and feminity.

Delving into EMI and the mysteries Gnder, learning how it already moves in your life, can guide you to learning how to take control of your hardness, so you and others may enjoy your softness, for we all have both.

There are a few videos of old talks available on this subject, and a few short videos.  A new online course, group and forum are coming very soon.